THE MOON AND DUALITY
The universe speaks in a very peculiar language. It is one of soft sighs, of growls, of synchronicities and heartbreak. As much as she speaks of love and connection, the universe also sings of death and pain. To know her most beautiful, supportive and adoring face is to know her shadow, her anger, her chaos. One cannot exist without the other.
When I decided to start this newsletter, I was at a loss for exactly how to frame it. In the overwhelming collective trauma we are all living through, it felt necessary to share more of the practices, tools and rituals I’ve been working with for nearly a decade. But what kind of structure would be able to support the liminal magick of ritual in a way that feels personal, applicable and powerful? What lens would I use to share this new offering? While like anything worthwhile, the Witch List will surely evolve and shift and grow. But for now the lens of which I’m sharing this magick is through one of the cornerstones of my practice with self-compassion, self-reflection and magick; the tarot.
The tarot is a 78-card deck that originated in the 13th century in Italy as a card game, that has evolved into a tool of deep spiritual value. It is through these cards that we see the transformation and evolution of the individual that leads to the transformation and evolution of the collective. The messages the cards bring are both personal and interpersonal; they connect us with ourselves while also with the world and souls around us. We can use the tarot as a tool in our journey with radical self-acceptance, but we can also use the tarot to understand how to take better care of ourselves. In the case of today’s post, I will be using THE MOON as a guide into caring for ourselves in the fullest sense of the word; through the path of our lady luna, we will be guided into holding space for ourselves, our shadow, our light and everything that falls between.
The Moon Speaks of the Subtle
She is the ruler of the subconscious, of our shadow, of the nightmares that linger along the poison path on the dark night of the Soul.
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The universe speaks in a very peculiar language. It is one of soft sighs, of growls, of synchronicities and heartbreak. As much as she speaks of love and connection, the universe also sings of death and pain. To know her most beautiful, supportive and adoring face is to know her shadow, her anger, her chaos. One cannot exist without the other.
When I decided to start this newsletter, I was at a loss for exactly how to frame it. In the overwhelming collective trauma we are all living through, it felt necessary to share more of the practices, tools and rituals I’ve been working with for nearly a decade. But what kind of structure would be able to support the liminal magick of ritual in a way that feels personal, applicable and powerful? What lens would I use to share this new offering? While like anything worthwhile, the Witch List will surely evolve and shift and grow. But for now the lens of which I’m sharing this magick is through one of the cornerstones of my practice with self-compassion, self-reflection and magick; the tarot.
The tarot is a 78-card deck that originated in the 13th century in Italy as a card game, that has evolved into a tool of deep spiritual value. It is through these cards that we see the transformation and evolution of the individual that leads to the transformation and evolution of the collective. The messages the cards bring are both personal and interpersonal; they connect us with ourselves while also with the world and souls around us. We can use the tarot as a tool in our journey with radical self-acceptance, but we can also use the tarot to understand how to take better care of ourselves. In the case of today’s post, I will be using THE MOON as a guide into caring for ourselves in the fullest sense of the word; through the path of our lady luna, we will be guided into holding space for ourselves, our shadow, our light and everything that falls between.
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The Moon speaks of the subtle
She is the ruler of the subconscious, of our shadow, of the nightmares that linger along the poison path on the dark night of the Soul.
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The Moon gets a bad rep! Many tarot readers are quick to associate this card with the negative; with deception, and nightmares, and unyielding darkness. I get that; the Moon is not an easy card to work with because it isn’t all about illumination. The Moon speaks of the shadow, of the lingering self-hate, or the fear, or the part of ourselves that suffers and may even love the pain that comes along with it. But one of the things I love about this card is how it leads us back into our totality. The Moon reminds us of the law of polarity, that we are both shadow and light, fierce and forgiving, submissive and dominant, angelic and demonic. The Moon doesn’t shield us from the parts of ourselves we are unaccustomed to or unaware of. She reflects back at us both our shadow and our light. The Moon can both shine the light, power and vibrance of the Sun (when she’s Full and waxing) or she can sit in inky darkness, stillness and silence (when she’s dark or new.) Throughout her cycles of wax and wane we are reminded of our own power, of our ability to grow and evolve and manifest, of our ability to share love and power and resources. We are also reminded of the pain we have caused ourselves, of the mistakes we’ve made, of what we keep hidden under our bed or in our closets for a day when we feel called to commune with our demons.
In the case of mental health, the Moon reminds us that there’s nothing wrong with us for struggling, or experiencing pain or feelings of depression or anxiety. Instead, the Moon shares the message with us that these feelings are exactly what makes us human. That to come back to our fullest expression we too must make room for the darkness, for our shadow.
In “Understanding Aleister Crowley’s Thoth Tarot", Lon Milo DuQuette writes that “Atu XVIII is that which illuminates the phantasmagoric nightmares of all of us who cannot acknowledge the dark horrors of our own fears. The Moon card shows a path through and beyond this nightmare, but it is not an easy path, and the myths of all ages and cultures prove that this journey through “the poisoned darkness” is an obligatory chapter in every hero’s quest.” Once we acknowledge that this darkness is happening, once we acknowledge our pain and frustration, then we can be led through the path of the Moon as the Priestess who guides us into the light. The High Priestess walks the Moon’s path in all of its perils, forming a link between the human and divine. We are reminded of the importance of this in our own life, and we can more deeply understand this message of duality by working with the Law of Polarity.
The Law of Polarity
EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING
One of the greatest occult maxims comes from the Hermetic teachings and is that which speaks of the law of polarity and the planes of correspondences. “As above, so below. As within, so without.” The macrocosm is the microcosm. The personal is the collective. We are creatures of duality, who dwell in both pain and bliss, shadow and light. As we experience both contraction and expansion in our personal life, so we too can remember that this experience is divine; that just as the moon shines her light when she’s Full and dwells in darkness when she’s New, our own sorrows and triumphs are equally as whole and holy. Think of how you’ve been personally impacted by COVID-19, and how this has shown up in the collective underbelly and shadow of our whole country and world.
But what the fuck does this have to do with how we take care of ourselves and our mental health? This maxim reminds us that our experiences of extremes are reflected in the divine. That because we are moving through this, so must the cosmos and the universe be a reflection of this. We are not alone in our experiences, in fact, our hardships are what connect us to the planet and the collective unconscious. I also like to think of this in terms of duality, in the fact that we will forever be oscillating between two equal but opposite poles. In the Kybalion, which shares the teachings of the Hermetica as told by Hermes Trismegistus, the sage and magician of magick and writing known as Hermes/ Mercury/ Thoth, the law of polarity is stated as the following: “Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pairs of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degrees; extremes meet; all truths are half truths; all paradoxes must be reconciled.” What this means for us is that we don’t have to feel ashamed of what we may deem dark or immoral or scary. We don’t have to feel shame about our pain, or fear or grief, ESPECIALLY with what’s going on in the world. Because of this axiom, because we know that all we do is a reflection of how the universe is composed and ordered, we are able to accept the extremes that leave us in the deep end of the swimming pool because we know that this depth is directly proportional to the other end of the spectrum, to the amount of joy and happiness and love we can feel.
A TAROT SPREAD FOR RADICAL ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR PERSONAL POLARITY
So how can we work with this message to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves? How can we start to reframe the pain and uncertainty and fear? We can do this by creating containers for our experiences, for ritualizing our processing, for bringing intention to how we care for ourselves in moments of grief and immense pain. And we can use the tarot as a way to witness our totality. Use the following spread to help you gain clarity about your own personal polarity, and then use the rituals afterward to help internalize and explore whatever comes up.
Before you begin this spread, you may wish to set up a sacred space. Dim the lights, grab some water or tea, light some candles or incense. Put on some Solfeggio Frequencies or your favorite moody, ambient music (I love Bjork for rituals) and grab your cards, your journal, a pen and whatever else you may need. Take a moment before you begin to center yourself, to ground or meditate or return to your breath. If there’s something specific you want to ask the cards, hold this intention in your mind. If not, just ask them to reveal your truth to you. As you’re ready, shuffle the cards, pull and begin.
CARD 1: This is one end and extreme of my personal polarity
CARD 2: This is the other end and extreme of that polarity
CARD 3: This is where the two extremes meet
CARD 4: How to begin radically accepting and holding space for my fullest self
CARD 5: How to integrate and embody this information
CARD 6: How the universe is guiding and supporting me in this process
CARD 7: How to take care of my mental health when I am oscillating between the two extremes of my polarity
MANTRAS FOR SELF-COMPASSION AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE
I know in my own experience with anxiety and struggles with mental health, there’s a level of guilt or shame around what I’m facing and experiencing. It can be so easy to go down the rabbit hole of feeling bad, and then feeling guilty for feeling bad, and then feeling angry at yourself for feeling bad, and then spiraling even more because you feel worse. What we’re experiencing in the world right now is unprecedented. We have never gone through this before in our life, as a whole, and because of that, we need to make sure we’re holding extra space for ourselves when we struggle. While we often hear about the importance of self-care, what I believe is even more important than this is self-compassion. Of undoing negative self-talk by recognizing the validity of what we have lived through. Now more than ever do we need to be kind to ourselves in moments when we unravel or struggle. We need to reparent ourselves so we can feel seen and cared for. We need to remind ourselves that we all collectively and individually going through a traumatic experience and that as a whole we are all trauma bonding.
I like to use mantras in my morning practice because speaking is a form of spellcraft. When we speak we vibrate our desires into the universe, whether conscious or not; this is SPELLing. And when we bring intention to this, it is ritual. Mantras and affirmations are a way for us to retrain our mind and how we feel about ourselves. I like to say each mantra three times, but you may say yours as many times as you need. Write them on a sticky note and put them on a mirror, make them your phone background, do whatever you can to remind yourself of these truths. Pick which ones resonate and leave the rest; or write your own to better serve whatever experience you’re moving through.
I am complete and worthy in my fullest expression of polarity
I honor the extremes of my Self and my experiences
I am enough
I am magical, expansive and supported in my totality
I honor all aspects of myself and who I am
I hold space for my experiences with compassion, strength and softness
I am safe, I am safe, I am safe
I ask for help when I need it and find compassion for myself no matter what
CREATING CONTAINERS FOR EXPERIENCING OUR DUALITY
One of the biggest takeaways I’ve had in my near two months of quarantine and chosen self-isolation is the importance of allowing myself to break down. It is so important that we allow ourselves the space to feel pain, to feel anxiety, to feal fear, to mourn, to cry, to grieve. It is SO important to do this, but it’s also important that we do our best to process, experience and honor this without letting it be the only experience we allow ourselves. What I mean by this is we must create a container or ritual so we can experience this pain, this one end of personal extreme, so we don’t stay here and think that’s it the totality of our experience. We must cry and scream and yell and get this the fuck out, so it’s not kept in the deepest crevices, pushed down until we can no longer contain it, until we are leaking poison and enveloped with pain. We can use ritual as a way of creating containers for our experiences; this way we can dwell on one end of this polarity or duality as a way of finding equilibrium before we move towards the other pole. Instead of sharing one ritual for mental wellness, I am using the elements as a guide in creating ritualized and intentional experiences of what we’re feeling. If you don’t know what you’re feeling, that’s okay too. You can think of the elements to help with this. Are you feel pulled by the emotional world within you (water)? Are you feeling agitation and upset and restlessness (fire)? Are you feeling stuck and immobile and lethargic (water)? Are you feeling unclear, brain fog, and deep uncertainty (air)? If there’s overlap use the following to create a ritual practice that caters to both experiences.
BEFORE YOU BEGIN: Before you begin processing in a ritual setting, it’s important to create the sacred space in which you will be doing this. I suggest doing this in a bedroom or wherever you do your magical practice. Ask yourself what you need to feel safe and comfortable. Dim the lights. Light some incense and candles. Make sure your pets are taken care of, and partners or roomies know not to disturb you. Play some music, turn your phone on silent. Get some water and a warm blanket. Do what you need to do to be able to meet yourself as fully as possible. If you feel more comfortable with a time limit on this, set an alarm on your phone. When you’re finished with your ritual, you may wish to clap, ring a bell, or stomp your feet so you know the ritual is over. Then go drink some water, eat some food, watch some reality tv, read a book or do whatever you need to move from this liminal space back into your everyday routine and life.
FOR GRIEF: (WATER)
Feelings of: sadness, pain, anguish, hopelessness, grief, mourning
How to ritualize this: Take a bath with candles and no lights on. Allow yourself to be supported by the water. Add epsom salt and lavender or eucalyptus if you have it. Cry. Allow yourself to feel. Hug yourself. Hold yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pain and get it out.Watch a sad show, listen to a sad song, look at something that reminds you of your pain until the dam bursts and you cannot contain it anymore. Allow this to move through you. Hold yourself as you writhe and scream. Meditate with the pain; can you give it a form, a name, a scent? Sit with this. Talk to it. Tell it how you feel. Envision the Moon shining her light down on you, on your pain, on the world’s pain, on whatever pain you’re experiencing and channeling. Feel her healing you and supporting you. You can simply cry in your ritual setting, or you may wish to write or move or draw cards. Use this space to feel the feelings you’ve been cutting yourself off from.
FOR ANGER: (FIRE)
Feelings of: anger, rage, violence, aggression, pised off-ness
How to ritualize this: Play angry music and jump around your room hissing and moaning and screaming. Mosh by yourself. Scream into your pillow, and then punch it as you breathe, exhaling with each punch. Let it out. Feel it in your body like lava. Take a towel and roll it up so forms a whip and then hit your mattress with this. Allow your anger to vibrate through you and keep hitting your mattress until you feel it begin to dissolve. Use your pillow to hit your bed in the same manner until it’s out. Jump up and down as you shake your whole body, feeling the kinetic energy vibrating through you, moving and dance and writhing until you have moved through the anger.
FOR PAIN: (EARTH)
Feelings of: numbness, disbelief, shock, sadness, lethargy
How to ritualize this: Nurture and hold yourself, swaddle yourself in a warm blanket, use your senses to find the safety to feel the pain you’re feeling. Give yourself a massage. Touch every part of your body and allow its message to come through. Stare in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself. Stretch your body, especially your hips and hip flexors, connecting intentionally to your breath as you do so, releasing further into the stretch with each exhale. Allow this experience to move outside of your body. Practice EFT tapping, dance, cry, touch yourself. Hug yourself and whisper the words of affirmation and validation that you long to hear. Remind yourself you are safe. Eat your favorite food or treat as you savor each bite. Or simply allow yourself to bask in the pain you’re feeling for the duration of your ritual. Hold this space for yourself without judgment or shame.
FOR ANXIETY (AIR)
Feelings of: Anxiety, overwhelm, doubt, fear, uncertainty, hopelessness
How to ritualize this: Pay attention to your breathing, honor the living force inside you that is uncertain and scared. Breathe in white light as your consciousness follows your inhale as it ascends towards the heavens, and your exhale, as it ascends towards the earth. Scream, cry, allow your breath to help verbalize your experience. Find space for radical self-acceptance; remember it’s okay to fear and be scared and not know what’s going on. Write. Journal. Think of your anxiety and then get paper to pen and let this out. Allow yourself to express all you’ve been holding inside. Allow this to move through you, out to the physical. Hold space for this through your writing. Then grab a cauldron, a pot of water or a fireproof bowl. Tear up your paper and burn it. Coo and growl and purr as you feel the being released into the ether. Pull tarot cards and reflect on your experience. Know that what you’re feeling is valid. Spin around in circles as you laugh and cry and then fall to the ground and feel the room spinning around you. Name your demons, your anxiety, the monster within you so when you experience this you can speak to it in its language. Thank yourself for your showing up.
Sending you all love as we move through the unknowns and create a better future for us All.